Why looks should matter less in a relationship

We place a bit too much importance on physical attraction when it comes to choosing a life partner.

Sitoh Shanice

Dances in her free time and can also lick her elbow.

Published: 9 April 2021, 11:32 AM

Many of us know girls who would dismiss a guy just because of their height, or guys who would disregard a girl because of their weight or physical appearance. 

We cannot deny that good looks always help with a positive first impression, which then prompts the first interaction of initiating a conversation with someone and getting to know them. 

However, there’s so much more to a person than just their physical appearance. Here are three reasons why looks hardly matter when it comes to maintaining a relationship in the long run.

Beauty is not limited to physical attributes

Have you ever shown your friends a picture of someone you find good-looking, but your friends just find the person average? Words of defence start coming out as you argue that “pictures don’t do him justice” and “he looks better in real life!” 

Your friends may not find the person as attractive as you do because they haven’t met them in real life, and cannot tell what their personality, sense of humour and vibes are like.


Not everyone has the same perspective on who’s attractive and who isn’t and there are no actual standards in measuring beauty. PHOTO CREDIT: SATRIA PERKASA VIA UNSPLASH


A person’s attractiveness is not solely dependent on their physical appearance. Once you get to know someone for who they truly are, you may find yourself attracted to qualities about them that you never saw before.

Looks will fade over time

Have you ever thought about how older couples stay together all these years? 

I’m reminded of an interesting conversation I had with a taxi driver on my way to school. 

The driver told me that people would eventually grow old and age, but their personality won’t age. He shared that his relationship is built on honesty, trust, and loyalty, because looks do not help in making a relationship last long. 

Although he and his wife had aged and looked different, they had been through so much together that looks did not even matter anymore in their relationship.


Good looks are only temporary and will eventually wear off. PHOTO CREDIT: NANI CHAVEZ VIA UNSPLASH


As the saying goes, beauty is only skin deep. Focusing on your partner being attractive and ignoring their other flaws is not the right way for a relationship to progress, because looks are only temporary.

Looks do not drive a relationship

With apps like Tinder and OkCupid, people can swipe left or right on someone solely based on how they look. 

Some dating app users would not even consider someone who does not fit their requirement of a good-looking person. Even a person that has their ideal personality may be disregarded just because they are not blessed in the looks department.

Many assume that an attractive person will also have a great personality, but looks have nothing to do with a person’s personality. 

If you’re only going for a person’s looks and disregarding their red flags because they are attractive, character differences may bring about major problems in the future. 


When you don’t fancy someone’s personality and just hope that things will work out in the end because they are physically attractive, your relationship will likely result in plenty of conflict. PHOTO CREDIT: FRED MOON VIA UNSPLASH


Even though looks may help with a first impression, the most essential thing in a relationship is how your partner supports you and brings you joy. 

Simply looking at physical attributes is a shallow mindset, and one should broaden their view on appearance by getting to know someone regardless of how they look. Just because someone doesn’t fit the “beauty standards” does not mean they aren’t a good potential partner. 

Trust the process in getting to know someone genuinely, and you might be surprised at what they can bring to your life.

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