Relationship deal-breakers

Singaporeans share what are the things that would make them avoid a second date.

Praise Yeo
Praise Yeo

Published: 14 April 2016, 12:00 AM

Love is known to blind people to fatal flaws. People are known to overlook bad habits of the ones they love, especially to prevent things from turning sour.

However, some things just cannot be tolerated, and these fatal flaws prevent second dates from ever materialising.

Here are some Singaporean youth’s relationship deal breakers:

1. Being unchivalrous, and not just toward the girl you’re on a date with.
“If the guy doesn’t treat service staff well, it just shows his manners: that he’s selfish and expects to be served when it should not be that way. He won’t be able to treat me nicely in the future too.”
-Rickie Sonjia Marcus, Female, 19, Student.
“Being rude to strangers and treating them like they’re lower down than you. If they treat others like crap then they’re not a good person on the inside.”

-Kris Chua, Female, 19, Student.


Not being gracious is unattractive… even if it isn’t towards your date.


2. Not respecting your date’s family (or your own).

“If she can’t respect my parents (i.e. rude), then it’s going to be much bumpier later on.”

-Tedd Jong Wei, Male, 21, NSF.

“I want him to love my family as much as I love them. It’s heart-warming seeing your boyfriend take time to be with your family. I usually watch how guys interact with their own family and how they treat them; You learn a lot.”
-Jessica Lim Zi Yun, 19, Female, Student.

3. Needing too much time with you…or NONE at all.

“I am unable to tolerate a guy that is too needy and depends on you for his happiness, where his mood is centered on the relationship. This would result in the relationship feeling like there is no breathing space.”
-Gwyneth Judilla, Female, 18, Student.

“If the guy can’t take some time off to spend time together to get to know each other, that’s a red flag right there. How are you supposed to develop a relationship if you don’t even have time?”
-Audrey Leong, 19, Female, Student.


Some are so sticky they have no room to breathe.


4. Dishonesty…need more be said?

“When someone is my partner, we basically are going to be spending and doing life together. How can we share our lives with one another when there are lies?”
-David Loh, Male, 21, Student.

“Personally, I feel that unfaithfulness is the only deal-breaker. All other issues and factors can always be resolved together, it just needs some giving and taking from both parties.”
-Darryl Tan, 19, Male, Student.

5. Arrogance 

“A douche bag is one that jokes excessively without knowing the limits and still thinks there’s nothing wrong with it. He only thinks about being funny, he overlooks everyone else’s feelings.”
-Samuel Koala Tan, 21, Male, NSF.

“When my date is so obsessed with herself, she doesn’t have space to think or care for anyone else.”
-Victor Yap, 19, Male, Student.


Like, hello? I’m standing right here. Do you care about my feelings?


While polling youths for their responses, we realized that women tend to have more deal-breakers than guys do. Are guys just less picky, or more tolerant? Let us know what you think, and if these deal-breakers are things you could put up with!

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