How to tell if you are ‘that’ toxic friend

Do you have a friend whom you hate being around with?

Whenever they talk, an air of negativity seems to fill the atmosphere. If not, chances are you are that toxic person among your circle of friends.

Fret not, because here are some tell-tale signs to help you understand what makes you toxic, and how you can change for the better.

1. It is difficult for you to keep a secret

How far would you go to keep a secret your friend had entrusted you with? The foundation of all friendships is trust and you cannot betray their trust by spilling out secrets just because you have nothing to talk about.

How now?

Just keep their secrets, duh. Instead as spilling their secrets during awkward silences in your conversations, consider these alternative conversation starter ideas instead.

2. You are narcissistic

 

You love the idea of yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that, but fishing for compliments too often might repel some of your friends.

How now?

Don’t talk bad about yourself just to get nods of approval from your friends. Compliment your friends once in a while for a change! They might start thinking that you actually care about what is happening around you, and that will help you shed your “toxic” label.

3. You find fault in everything

Toxic people are often the first to find fault with others when things go wrong. You might be doing this subconsciously to free yourself from any blame or effort to find a solution to the problem.

How now?

Make an effort to offer suggestions to rectify the situation, even if it has nothing to do with you. At least your friends can tell that you are trying to help.

4. You envy the success of others

After seeing your friend becoming the school’s valedictorian, you start to feel that you deserve it more than them.

How now?

Stop being so salty and feel happy for your friend instead! Instead of sulking in a corner, why not go all the way by organising a dinner or party to commemorate their achievements?

5. You never apologise for your mistakes

Usually, you do not apologise unless it really is clearly your fault. And even if you do apologise, you tend to justify your actions by bringing up something somebody else has already done.

How now?

Stop it. It is very exhausting for people to handle others who do not own up to their mistakes. You can still fight for yourself if you are telling the truth, but please, do not keep the argument going at the expense of your friendship.

6. You bring up irrelevant details

When you find yourself stuck in a corner while arguing with your friend, you tend to bring up irrelevant details from five months ago to avoid dealing with the pressing issues at hand.

How now?

Deal with it, bro. Clear all misunderstandings and confusions you might be having with your friends on the spot. Bringing up old details shows that you are still harbouring on the past mistakes your friends have made.

At the end of the day, we are all a work in progress. The real growth happens when you are finally aware about your toxic attitude. It takes guts and a willing heart to do this, but once you have overcome this barrier, you’re actually one big step ahead!

Before you embark on your toxic cleanse, alert your friends first, so that they know you are genuinely trying to better yourself.

Best of luck to you!