How to ruin your life

Life is essentially what you make of it. So if you feel that going down the pathway to self-destruction will bring you to that light at the end of the tunnel, then knock yourself out.

Here are some of the greatest ways to ruin your life!

The phrase “you live only once” (YOLO) is arguably the greatest self-destructive maxim in this planet.

Why take care of yourself by ensuring you have enough rest, eat healthily, and exercise regularly when you can simply not bother?

Besides, we will only see the effects of our negligent attitude when our bodies drastically break down in our old age.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with drinking with your friends in clubs or bars. You get to meet lots of people, feel really high, and possibly experience some of the craziest moments of your life there.

But hey, why limit yourself? If you feel you have drunk enough alcohol, smoked enough cigarettes (some may be contraband too, let’s be honest), or partied hard enough, YOU ARE WRONG. Overindulgence and wasting yourself without restraint is actually really fun.

Forget the famous quote from Spiderman: “With great power comes great responsibility”.

In many circumstances, that would mean you would have to do what is right, rather than what feels right and is more enjoyable. After all, it’s easier to desert your project group mates and work colleagues to have fun with your friends instead!

Forget about being accountable and trustworthy; if being irresponsible for your actions makes you any happier, then go ahead! Another fun way to ruin your life!

You could also swing to the opposite end of the spectrum, and try to please everyone in your life. Follow the narrow and fixed path that your parents have set for you even before your were born.

Your dreams and ambitions are irrelevant in the face of societal standards. Leading a mundane life as a mere cog in the economic machine is more important than being happy, as long as you have the money to survive.

So please everyone but yourself – what a fantastic way to throw away your life and your future.

Life will break you at times; people will hurt you and you will hurt others too. It is a perennial issue of our humanity. So don’t blame yourself for holding grudges and keeping yourself distant from anyone who did you wrong, however small the misdeed.

It is clearly wiser to despise those who hate you than free yourself from such overbearing emotions.

There’s always something to complain about, and we should always embrace this deeply rooted culture in our society. From long queues, crowded MRT trains, increased transport fares and ERP rates, to even how boring this country is – we must never find anything to be satisfied about!

Since there is seriously nothing to be happy about, we should keep our long rants on social media visible for all to see how unhappy you are!

If you have read up to this point, please know that you will most certainly ruin your life if you didn’t sense the ridiculous sarcasm above!