Getting fish from another ocean

Why you should consider dating out of your social circle.

Audrey Leong

Published: 8 December 2016, 2:24 PM

People always say you can date other fish in the sea, but have you tried dating in a totally different ocean? I have.

My boyfriend, and I are from two totally different oceans. Different social circles, different backgrounds, and starkly different personalities.

For one, he would rather keep his identity a secret (which explains why the photos are posed), while I’m here putting our relationship for all the world to see.

We’re in a relationship that really shouldn’t work, but March 2017 will mark our third year together.

So, if you’re looking for a brand new relationship, here’s why you should consider dating someone out of your comfort zone.

1. You will be exposed to a whole new world of knowledge

Having spent the last three years studying business and information technology, my boyfriend often tells me how computers play a role helping a business to thrive through servers, cloud systems and really good back end coding.

Before that, if you asked me how a cloud storage system works, I would have probably told you about the rain cycle.

It’s even cooler when my boyfriend’s friends ask me for help in areas that they might not be as familiar with, such as advertorial designing or marketing.

It gives this media student a fresh perspective on how things work in the business industry, and how my skills could be put to use in the future.

2. You get to start afresh

The not-so-great thing about dating someone from your social circle? You already have a history with them. They know your past and present, and you may have shared experiences, which may affect how they think about you, and what they may hold against you during arguments.


We weren’t bound by mutual friends either, which meant there was no way for someone within our friend groups to interfere with our relationship.


When you venture into the pool of unknowns as dates, you get to start anew. Everything you know about each other starts from that point.

You might find things to love and hate about each other, but at least they won’t have any no pre-formed impressions of you.

3. You get to make new friends

It was so scary when I first met my boyfriend’s friends. Here were 10 people whom I’ve never seen before, sitting in a room with their legs on tables and laptops on their laps, who only knew me as “his girlfriend”.

It’s intimidating when your boyfriend is the only person you know, and everyone else seems to be in their own little bubble.

Over time though, I started to learn their names and made friends with them. They’ve also introduced funny videos and games to me, which has helped to shape my own sense of humour.

4. You might spend less time together, but you will reap fruitful conversations

Because of our different schedules, we sometimes don’t see each other regularly, sometimes even for weeks.

It’s common to find the both of us bursting at the seams with stories to tell over a quick meal or Skype call. Pre-planned dates often feel like a reward for surviving the week.


A good conversation, no matter how short, does wonders for your stress levels.


Yes, we’re lucky to have the luxury of technology to catch up with each other, but with school, part-time jobs, exams and the likes, it’s hard to have a proper face-to-face conversation, unless you set time for it.

But, the date will never feel too long, and you’ll rarely get sick of seeing each other, which means your social energy will be on a high most of the day.

Of course, every relationship still requires a lot of hard work and communication for things to work out, but why not try something different and give it go?

Take it from me, it might just be the most rewarding relationship you’ve ever been in.


For you curious lot, here’s the only picture my boyfriend would let me post.

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