Five situations every Singaporean plays dumb in

They say that ignorance is bliss, and we agree. In situations that we would much rather stay uninvolved in, we tend to resort to our convenient cover-ups, pretending to have no awareness of what is going on.

Here are five situations every Singaporean plays dumb in.

1. Walking past someone who gives out flyers

Remember the people you ignored and walked past this morning? The ones who were trying to hand you flyers and a free copy of the newspaper?

We always pretend to be busy on our phones to mask our guilt for ignoring them. Yes, we do notice them, but no, we don’t want to carry a stack of newspapers or flyers throughout our train ride.

2. People asking to share our dinner tables

No, we do not actually have eight other people joining us for dinner, but we definitely do not want some stranger sharing the table with us. So, we shake our heads when asked if the table can be shared. Well, technically, we are not saying that all 10 seats are occupied.

We just prefer to have the entire table to ourselves, instead of sharing it with you and your funky family.

3. Farting in the MRT train

You might deny ever farting in the MRT train, but we all know how big of a lie that is. Everyone in the same cabin automatically becomes enemies the moment the smell something bad whilst being in the train.

They scrunch their noses in disgust and glare at one another, as though that would help prove that they had no hand in the smell. Especially the one who obviously released the poisonous gas.

They act confused and disgusted, some even throwing you narrowed glances, attempting to pin the blame on you. Admit it, that is what you would do too if you farted.

4. Trying food from the sampling tray

Yes, we are the same ones who tried the food samples less than five minutes ago, but every true Singaporean knows that food samples are not for sampling – they are little delicacies that make up a meal.

Although we know the salesperson is glaring at us for taking a cup of coffee for the fifth time in a row, we pretend that we are too absorbed in the bitter taste of the coffee to notice.

A man’s got to eat when a man’s got to eat.

5. Dropping receipts on the floor

In a buzzing metropolis that has undergone intensive globalisation, we look around and see… receipts. Strewn all across the floor in varying sizes, we pretend that we have nothing to do with that little piece of white paper that fell out of our wallets.

Sometimes, we go as far as to “accidentally” loosen our grip on the receipt whilst rummaging through our bags. We often try to look like we are rushing for an important appointment, hoping that people would not stop us for that little piece of paper we want nothing to do with.

Although people like to call Singaporeans kiasu, we do not want everything… Well maybe almost everything, except for old receipts and flyers.