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Confessions of a third party

How dumb and foolish it was for me to get involved with a guy who already had a girlfriend.

Eileen


Published: 7 February 2017, 6:15 PM

Cheating – the ultimate act of betrayal, foolishness and disrespect.

I couldn’t understand how and why one would risk their relationship for the sake of pleasure. I’ve always thought that it was immature and stupid.

But some years ago, I found myself guilty of being the third party.

I met a guy in school and I found him cute. He had a girlfriend that he had been with for years, so our relationship was strictly platonic. We were in the same clique and hung out together often.

He had always been flirty with me, but I never thought too much about it.

However, things turned around when we became partners for a school project.

I started opening up to him about my life and the struggles I was going through. He became my confidant and brought me up when I was at my lowest. And so, like any girl would, I started falling for him.

There was a night when a few of us were at a birthday party and he came onto me. I was so intoxicated, I didn’t think and just went for it.

After that incident, things started to escalate. He would say things like how he would pick me over his girlfriend, how he wished things were different between us… and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Being as vulnerable as I was at that point in time, I bought it.

At first, I felt an immense amount of guilt and disgust over my actions.

We both knew it was completely wrong, but I had fallen so deep for this guy that I couldn’t see straight anymore.

My friends were telling me I was being naive and demanded that I ended things as soon as possible. But I was so in love with him, I could barely bring myself to do it.

The whole series of events seemed like a movie. He lifted me up, made me happy and reminded me that I was special. He made me feel things I never thought possible. It felt so real, and it was all so promising.

I was the damsel in distress and he saved me.

But the lesson here is that, no matter how promising something may seem, you are never going to win when you are the third party. Life is not a movie.

The whole episode went on for about eight months and we managed to keep things under wraps from our friends throughout.

Eventually, he ended things with me and told me he couldn’t carry on with being unfaithful. He started to distance himself from me and things came to a close during the holidays.

I was left with a broken heart and he ran back to his girlfriend.

I couldn’t understand how at one second, he could give me everything, and at the next leave me. But then again, we were sleeping on a bed of lies.

I never, in a million years, could have imagined myself getting involved in something like this.

I believe that infidelity is a choice rather than a mistake. And most importantly, I believe that it is completely unforgivable.

I had a front row seat at how disgustingly two-sided people are when they cheat. He would tell how much he wanted to be with me and then meet his girlfriend a few hours later, as if he was the most faithful guy in the world.

I did want to tell his girlfriend. But I do know that I’m the last person she should hear this from.

I am ashamed of my actions and would never advise anyone to be involved with someone in a relationship. It is not worth it.

Like a friend once told me: “Sharing is caring but not when it comes to men.”


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